How to Elope: A Step-by-Step Guide
So you’re thinking about eloping, and you have no idea how to actually elope?! You’ve come to the right spot. While an elopement may easily be associated with spontaneously heading to the courthouse to get married, the meaning of eloping has drastically changed throughout the years. Now elopements are intimate wedding ceremonies that usually involve just the couple or a small group of people to witness them tying the knot. Whoever couples decide to invite, elopements are meaningful and full of intent, skipping the 10+ tables and the hours taking selfies with a bunch of guests.
With the growing popularity of eloping also comes a lot of elopements that have evolved into “adventure elopements”, where couples travel to amazing places around the world to explore. Overall eloping involves far less planning, logistics, and expenses than a traditional wedding. However, that doesn’t mean couples don’t invest thought, preparation, and coordination into their elopement ceremony.
Whether you’re drawn to the idea of exchanging vows in a breathtaking destination, avoiding the stress of a traditional wedding, or simply focusing on your love story, eloping offers endless possibilities. In this guide, we’ll walk you through every step you need to know about how to elope—from planning to legal considerations to making the day uniquely yours.
Step 1: Decide What Eloping Means to You
Eloping isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience; it’s about creating a day that reflects who you are as a couple. Start by discussing what you both envision for your elopement. Make sure you’re both on the same page on what you think eloping means to you. Defining your vision will help guide your planning decisions. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What does eloping mean to you as a couple?
- Do you want your elopement to be spontaneous, planned, or somewhere in between?
- How intimate do you want your elopement to be? Will it just be the two of you, or will you invite a few close family members or friends for a micro-wedding?
- What kind of setting feels right for your elopement (e.g., city hall, a scenic outdoor location, a destination elopement)?
- What traditions, if any, do we want to incorporate into your elopement?
- How much flexibility do you want in your elopement day schedule?
- Do you want to include any special elements, like handwritten vows, a unique ceremony ritual, or a personal exchange of gifts?
- Is there a specific date or season that holds significance for your elopement?
- Will you celebrate your elopement afterward with a reception or post-elopement party?
- How will you inform friends and family about your decision to elope—before or after the ceremony?
- What emotions and values are most important to you on your wedding day, and how can you honor those through eloping?
You’ll want to think about how you want to feel on your wedding day, and how these answers will influence your overall plans for your elopement adventure. Follow us on Pinterest to start your elopement board.
Step 2: Pick the Perfect Location
The most exciting part of planning an elopement is choosing where you want to say “I do.” Since elopements are often smaller in scale, you can get creative with your location. Now is the perfect opportunity to explore that one spot you have been trying to scratch off your bucket list.
- Outdoor Elopements: Think of mountains, beaches, forests, or deserts. National parks, beaches, or even your favorite hiking trail can make for a stunning backdrop.
- Destination Elopements: If you’re dreaming of a far-off location, research countries or states where your marriage will be legally recognized and what documentation is needed. Iceland, Italy, and Hawaii are popular spots for adventure elopements.
- Urban Elopements: Some couples prefer the idea of eloping in a city, and that’s ok! If you love the energy of urban environments, cities like New York, Paris, or San Francisco can provide both iconic locations and convenience.
Still not 100% Sure how you’re going to be the perfect place to elope? Ask yourself the following questions to help narrow down your search.
- What kind of scenery or setting best represents your relationship (e.g., mountains, beach, forest, cityscape)?
- Do you want to elope locally, or are you open to traveling for a destination elopement?
- What time of year do you want to elope, and how will the weather impact your chosen location?
- Are there any legal requirements (e.g., permits, marriage licenses) for eloping in the location you’re considering?
- How accessible is the location for you and any potential guests or vendors (photographer, officiant, etc.)?
- Are there any specific locations that hold sentimental value for you as a couple?
- Do you want a place that offers a sense of adventure, relaxation, or something in between?
- How important is privacy to you? Do you want a secluded spot or a more public location?
If you’re still stuck on where to elope, then pick a general location and team up with an elopement photographer. Teaming up with a local vendor also allows you to have way more guidance when it comes to WHEN and WHERE you want to elope together. Most photographers will often ask you to pick a different location/area for a plan B, C, or even D when it comes to inclement weather conditions and other unavoidable circumstances that may arise. This is why it’s so important to think about the overall scenery you want to see during your elopement to try and make that happen if your initial plan does not work in your favor.
Step 3: Set a Budget
One of the best things about eloping is that it’s often much more affordable than a traditional wedding. However, depending on your elopement location and whether you’ll include travel, photography, or a small reception, costs can add up.
Here’s how to break down your elopement budget:
- Travel expenses: Flights, accommodations, transportation, and meals.
- Permit fees: Some locations, especially in national parks or popular tourist destinations, require a permit for ceremonies.
- Photography/Videography: Hiring a professional photographer or videographer can help capture your day.
- Officiant fees: Depending on the location, you may need to hire an officiant or bring someone along who is legally allowed to marry you.
We recommend deciding on a main budget you and your partner want to stick to, then decide what you want to allocate most of your money towards (e.g., photographer, ski resort, personal chef). After that, research how much everything you want costs to gather estimates, so you can adjust your list as needed.
Step 4: Check Legal Requirements
Before you can elope, you’ll need to make sure you’re doing everything legally right to make things official. We’re talking about marriage license requirements AND permit requirements wherever you decide to elope. As elopements become more popular, regulations and limitations have been placed in certain popular locations to minimize foot traffic. This is why it’s important to make sure you and your vendors are following proper leave no trace guidelines specific to the location you’re exploring.
Here are the main legal requirements to keep in mind:
- Marriage License: Research the specific requirements in the location you plan to elope. Some states or countries require waiting periods, witness requirements, or specific documentation.
- Permits: If you’re eloping in a national park or public land, be sure to apply for the necessary permits well in advance. These ensure your ceremony abides by local regulations and respects the environment.
- Officiant: Make sure your officiant is legally able to marry you in your chosen location. Some couples choose to bring their own, while others find a local officiant.
For this elopement step, it’s important to know that every state has a different law about marriage licenses. In some states, like California and Colorado, for example, you can self-solemnize your marriage.
If you’re planning on getting married in a different state or country than where you live, then make sure to do your research. Our Wandering Weddings members are experts in these requirements, so we highly recommend teaming up with one of them.
Some couples become worried about how to elope in a different state, so we are here to say that it can be easier to officially get married and obtain your license at a city hall in your own city. After you obtain your marriage license, you can hold a commitment ceremony at your wedding destination without stressing about the logistics of it all.
Step 5: Hire Key Vendors
Even though elopements are simpler than traditional weddings, hiring key vendors can make your experience unforgettable and ensure everything runs smoothly. Consider the following:
- Photographer/Videographer: Elopements are all about the experience, and having professional photos or a video of the day can help you relive the moments for years to come.
- Hair and Makeup Artist: Treat yourself by hiring a professional to help you look your best, even if you’re outdoors or in a casual setting.
- Florist: A bouquet or boutonniere can add a special touch, and some elopement florists specialize in creating arrangements suited for adventure weddings.
- Officiant: Depending on the location and legal requirements, you may want to hire an officiant or bring along someone you know who can perform the ceremony.
- Planner: Even though you’re eloping, a planner can help make your vision come to life if you’re aiming to have a setup of any sort. They’ll also make sure you’re following your location’s permits and regulations to avoid any fees.
Our elopement packages are created with our couples in mind to be go-to resources. These packages are a great step-by-step guide to planning your small wedding at a specific location you’re interested in. Our elopement packages also contain reliable vendors who are experienced in planning and documenting elopements in that area.
Step 6: Create Your Elopement Timeline
A well-thought-out elopement timeline will help your day flow smoothly. Consider factors like travel time to your ceremony location, lighting for photos, and breaks for meals or relaxation. Even if your elopement is more spontaneous, having a loose plan will ensure you make the most of your time together without feeling rushed.
Elopements give you the freedom to create a day that’s truly about the two of you. Instead of sticking to a rigid timeline, plan out the activities and moments that will make your elopement special.
Some ideas include:
- First Look: If you love the idea of seeing each other for the first time in your wedding attire, a first look can be a sweet and emotional way to kick off the day.
- Ceremony: Your elopement ceremony can be as formal or casual as you want. You can exchange vows privately, include religious prayers or traditions, or even invite a few close friends or family members.
- Adventure: If you’re eloping in a scenic location, plan a hike, boat ride, or scenic drive to soak in the surroundings and take beautiful photos.
- Celebratory Meal: Whether you have a romantic picnic, stop at a local restaurant, or even bring a cake to share, take time to celebrate after the ceremony.
Step 7: Consider the Details: Attire, Accommodations, and Activities
When planning your elopement, don’t forget to consider the finer details that will make your day unique. Choose attire that suits your style and location—whether it’s a flowing gown, hiking boots, or something traditional. Plan your accommodations in advance, especially if you’re traveling to a popular destination. Think about activities to incorporate, such as a scenic hike, a romantic dinner, or even an adventurous experience like skydiving or a hot air balloon ride.
Detail Questions to Consider:
- What will the weather be like on your elopement day? Do you need extra layers or breathable fabrics?
- How formal or casual do you want your attire to be?
- Are you comfortable wearing this attire for the duration of the day, especially if you’ll be hiking or exploring the area?
Questions to Consider for your Accommodation:
- How close do you want to be to your ceremony location to avoid long travel times on the day of the elopement?
- Are there unique accommodations that can add to the experience, like a treehouse, yurt, or a secluded mountain cabin?
- Does the accommodation offer amenities like a hot tub, fireplace, or private deck where we can unwind after the ceremony?
Questions to Consider for Activities:
- What do you enjoy doing together that would make your wedding day more memorable? (e.g., hiking, kayaking, exploring a new city, etc.)
- Do you want to include an adventurous activity like a hot air balloon ride, horseback riding, or a helicopter tour for a unique twist?
- Would you prefer a quiet, intimate activity, such as a private dinner, stargazing, or a relaxing soak in a hot spring?
By asking yourselves these questions, you can create an elopement day that’s not only about the ceremony but also reflects who you are as a couple—whether that’s exploring new terrain, staying in a cozy cabin, or wearing hiking boots under your wedding dress!
Step 8: Create a Cash Fund
If you’re eloping and skipping the traditional wedding gift registry, consider setting up a cash fund to help cover your elopement costs or fund your honeymoon. Many couples use cash registry websites where friends and family can contribute to specific experiences or expenses. Here’s how to make the most of it:
- Honeymoon Fund: Request contributions to your post-elopement honeymoon, whether it’s for flights, accommodations, or unique experiences.
- Adventure Fund: If you’re planning an adventure elopement, you can ask guests to contribute to activities like hiking tours, outdoor experiences, or travel gear.
- Elopement Costs: Some couples set up funds to help cover the costs of the elopement itself—whether it’s for a photographer, officiant, or accommodations at a destination.
Step 9: Announce Your Elopement
After your elopement, it’s time to share the news! Some couples choose to keep their elopement private, while others love sending out announcement cards or hosting a small reception to celebrate with friends and family later on. Here are some fun ways to share:
- Social Media Posts: If you love sharing your life online, post a photo or video from your elopement day with a caption that captures the adventure.
- Elopement Announcements: Create custom elopement announcement cards to send to your loved ones, sharing a few photos and a message about your special day.
- Reception or Party: Some couples choose to throw a casual party or formal reception after their elopement to celebrate with friends and family.
Step 10: Plan Your Honeymoon
One of the best parts of eloping is that you’re often already in a breathtaking destination, which makes transitioning to your honeymoon feel natural and effortless. Whether you’re dreaming of extending your stay at your elopement location or jetting off somewhere new, planning your honeymoon allows you to dive deeper into relaxation, adventure, and time together.
Here are some honeymoon ideas post-elopement:
- Extend Your Stay and Explore Your Elopement Destination – If you’re eloping in a destination you’ve always wanted to explore, why rush to leave? Turn your elopement location into the beginning of your honeymoon by extending your stay and savoring the surroundings.
- Head to a New Destination – If your elopement location is more about the ceremony than the surrounding activities, you can shift gears and start a whole new journey by heading to a different destination.
- Plan a Local Elopement with a Future Honeymoon – If you’ve decided to elope locally to keep things simple, you can always plan a honeymoon for later. This gives you the chance to take your time planning a dream trip to your ideal destination without the pressure of doing it right after the wedding.
Final Thoughts: Eloping is What You Make It
Eloping is all about crafting a day that reflects your love story and values. Whether it’s just the two of you or a small group of loved ones, focus on the experience and embrace the flexibility that comes with elopements. From the location to the activities to how you announce it afterward, elopements offer a personalized, stress-free way to get married. Follow these steps, and you’ll be well on your way to creating a day that’s unforgettable.
FAQs on How to Elope
Eloping typically refers to a more intimate, private wedding ceremony, often without many guests. Elopements often skip the traditional structure of a large wedding, which allows couples to focus on their connection, often in a meaningful or adventurous location.
Yes, you still need a marriage license to make your elopement legally official. The requirements vary by location, so check the rules in the state or country where you plan to elope.
Absolutely! While elopements are often just for the couple, you can invite a few close friends or family members if you want to share the moment. Some couples refer to this as a “micro wedding.”
Start by thinking about what’s meaningful to both of you—whether that’s a special place, a dream destination, or somewhere you’ve always wanted to explore. Consider logistics, permits, and how accessible the location is for any guests or vendors.
Check out our list of the best places to elope.
In most cases, yes, you’ll need an officiant to make your marriage legal. However, some places allow self-solemnizing, meaning you don’t need an officiant. Be sure to research the legal requirements in your chosen location. If you don’t want to deal with the legalities, then you can plan a commitment ceremony!
Elopement costs vary depending on location, travel, and what vendors you hire (photographer, officiant, etc.). In general, eloping can be much more affordable than a traditional wedding, but it’s important to set a budget for things like travel, accommodation, and permits.
Many national parks and public locations require permits for elopement ceremonies, especially if you’re using public land. Be sure to check with local authorities or the park service to obtain the necessary permits in advance.
You can wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and special! Some couples opt for formal wedding attire, while others choose more casual outfits that suit the location or the adventure they have planned.
You can announce your elopement in several ways, including sending out announcement cards, sharing on social media, or even hosting a post-elopement party. It’s entirely up to you how and when you share the news!